This is not a test. You will be graded accordingly.


Sorry to interrupt this broadcast of “Max’s contest,” but we’ve highjacked this patch of cyberspace to bring you an important update.

Sarahpotterwrites, the most incognito Potter genius that the Wizarding world has even seen, saw fit to nominate me with the Versatile Blogger Award (mainly from the different types of tears I’m told to have caused-ranging from funny streams when you peed yourself with laughter to mournful cries for the sad upbringings of so many kids).

You know how these things work by now.

If not, here are the rules.

To make this interesting, one of the seven things I mention will be a lie. That’s right, I’m going to deceive you right to your eyeballs; i dare you to call me out on it. It is up to you, dear reader, to guess which time I’m fibbing.
So Sarah, following the tone of your confessions, I present the seven-card-monte con of my life:

-I am convinced that Piccolo, of DragonBall fame, is the greatest character from my childhood. This includes the Power Rangers, Star Wars, and all other pop culture that reveals my geekdom.

-Despite the fact that women love nerds, I cannot seem to find anyone impressed that I’m a card-carrying member of the Dungeons and Dragons club. I have since joined OkCupid in an attempt to find a dorky counterpart.

-At age 15 I was kicked out of school for changing out of my gym clothes in the hallway (because the boys bathroom was full, and I may have been a little self-conscious at the time).

-During my spring break of my college sophomore year, I attempted to walk home on a rails to trails route going from my college to Pittsburgh. Maybe biting off more than I could chew, I collapsed a mere 8 miles from my destination and had to call my dear brother to pick me up.

-I wrote a cookbook in two weeks on a dare (which may or may not have been issued by a crush), and have only ever shown it to my parents.

-I may or may not have Wolverine-esque regenerative abilities (boasting ten casts, countless sprained appendages, nerve ADHD and months of practicing my crutches act for Cirque du Soliel).

-I think laughter is the greatest sound that humans can produce. Especially my brother’s chuckles.

That’s it. My seven. Which ones are true? More importantly, which one isn’t?

And of course, this post wouldn’t be complete without me passing the torch. Be careful, the fire is hot; either Loki or Prometheus thought it would be funny to burn your fingers. Wear oven mitts, fellow winners:

LeClown-mainly because he’s on vacation and I know it’ll smear his makeup something awful when he comes home to work.

Yes.No.Turnip. For he also teaches, and knows that with that great power comes great responsibly. I expect he can handle the spiderman task of passing along his comic book backstory.

Zombies1984. Orwell meets Zombiepocalypse. Need I say more?

Amydot. Jeez, what can I say about this girl that doesn’t sound like I have a crush on her imagination? Maybe I have a crush on her imagination.

Katie the teacher-solely for the Hilarious Student Quotes of the Week. They are indeed.

Stewpify– is yet another teacher who captures classroom moments in jars, then promptly breaks them on our faces when we read his blog. You know, in an awesome way.

Thingy, er, poems. A student (which as we all know, is almost as cool as a teacher).

Finally, because i can, my buddy, Zen, whose comments alone are worth checking out.

Congrats everyone! And stay tuned for more Sheherazade poetry to keep your minds as limitless as a genie’s wish.

And a big welcome to my new followers. Explore the site, have fun, and leave/lay an Easter egg for other folks to find.

20 thoughts on “This is not a test. You will be graded accordingly.

  1. dang all of these kinda smack of that stranger-than-fiction element that makes em sound like truth! hmm. i’m at a huge disadvantage having just made your acquaintance but i’m gonna go with the cookbook one. final answer.

    oh yeah! and please give a sista some tips on healing if the one about the regenerative qualities is true! i’m limping over here! lol!

    1. Word. Ice works wonders. So does stretching. Barring that, I’m really just mad stubborn and
      1: don’t take pain meds, and
      2: get back on my feet and into my normal routine as soon as possible.
      And tea. I drink lots of tea.

    1. oh damn, zen. How did I forget you in this post? By the way, ahem…you’ve just been nominated for the Versatile Blogger Award. Thanks for the reminder homie and congrats.

  2. Thanks, that’s great. You are so, so, so funny šŸ˜€ The trouble is with those seven things about yourself, to someone of wizarding stock, all of them sound possible. And the first two make you sound just like my son, who is also a geek.

  3. I’m going to say either #2 or #6 is not true. (But if #2 is true, then you’ve made me wish I were single—I was a D&D player back in the day. I miss Dungeons & Dragons very much. I was the only girl in my club and I never got to be DM, but I still loved it.)

    1. I admit to the D&D days, too šŸ™‚ I also hung out at astronomy societies, where I picked up my first few boyfriends. There’s nothing more romantic than building a telescope together. Use to go UFO spotting, too. How sad is that?

      1. Not sad at all. Dorky romance makes for the best stories. For how many couples brag that they met drinking each other under the table? Space is wickedly romantic; especially when you realize the tidally locked love affair between earth and the moon.

    2. Muahahahahaha (or something resembling “evil laughter”). Indeed, so far the lie remains hidden, but I will admit to the OkCupid account. And your hubby had better hold you close; I hope he knows how lucky he is.

  4. I knew it couldn’t be #2…lol…I have met far too many “geeks” that way…and I tell ya, real women far prefer “geeks” to their “jocky” counterparts, whether we admit it or not! šŸ˜‰

    I think you did NOT attempt to write a cookbook…

    Surprise me šŸ˜‰

  5. Oh thankyou!! I’ll pass this on! Do I list 7 facts and 7 people? That’s all?

    Aww you have a crush on my imagination! Sweet! šŸ™‚

    Thanks again!

  6. Anansi,
    You were right… How fucking awesome it is to come back from vacation to such an honoUr… I’ll pretend I never received it and thank you accordingly…
    You’re good people.
    Le Clown

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