A novel novel of organ origins

That feeling you get

Heart: What the hell was that?!? I’m going into overdrive, like I’ve been given an IV of nicotine and caffeine combined.

Brain: It just came out of nowhere and POW! Kicked me right in the pituitary.

Eye: I’m sorry, I couldn’t help but stare. It was hypnotizing; like looking into the eye of a hurricane, or climbing the empire state building just to see the height from which you’ll hit the pavement.

Brain: Emergency status report, is everyone okay?

Lung: It took my breath away!

Eye: My iris ran away, and my pupil dilated as much as the Grinch’s heart strings. Optics are haywire, sir!

Heart: I resent that. I’m beating like the walls of an under-21 club. Are we fleeing from a pack of wolves?

Kidney: I nearly peed myself!

Brain: Mouth? Report.

Mouth:…

Brain: Report!

Mouth:…

Brain: Skin?

Skin:…

Brain: Okay, the line’s dead. It looks like not all systems are responding. We may have lost them for good. Let’s regroup until we have more intel on our stimulus. Activate phase 2: stealth.

Eye: Stealth active.

Nose: Stealth active.

Heart: Give me a sec to get this beating under control. Okay, stealth active.

Brain: This is not a drill. No parasympathetic nervous system, I will not calm down! We have a crisis on our hands. Everyone, stay completely silent.

Intestines: Stealth active.

Eye: Getting visual confirmation.

Bladder: Stealth active.

Brain: What is it, private eye?

Eye: It appears to be…

Pancreas: Stealth active

Eye: Yup. Sir, it appears we just asked a girl on a date.

Brain: Well, what did she say? Ears? Can anyone check our auditory system? Damn! No response.

Appendix: Stealth active.

Penis: Uh…guys? I think I just blew it.