How do the supernatural keep up with current events?

© LRSarbu

Good evening, this is Transylvanian News 1 and here are tonight’s top stories:

The Genie Liberation army announced a ceasefire today when it was discovered that a contingent of freedom fighters were trading wishes to the other side. No word yet on a peace treaty, but a spokesperson for the revolt expressed a strong desire that everyone retreat back into their lamps.

On a related note, Park Rangers have declared a state of emergency in the Black Forest. Werewolves have been expanding their territory over recent weeks, and with a Blue Moon occurring this month, it appears likely that many will escape the State Park. Authorities have advised that residents stay indoors and report any changes noticed in elderly relatives immediately.

In other news, The Supreme Court of Fools ruled this afternoon on the Pixies vs pixies Case in favor of the defendants. The human music group was brought to court on copyright infringement charges; pixies, the creature we know and love, sued the band for damages suffered after being declared mad in the smash hit, “Where is my Mind?” Allegedly, the musicians stole the mythical creatures’ name after a game of drunken poker.

Although human/magic trials are normally thrown out of court, sympathetic Justice Rump L. Stiltskin argued in the pixies’ (beings) favor, stating that:

“Claiming ignorance of a life-form’s existence is no excuse to use their name without consent.”

Critics of Stiltskin’s politics say this ruling is another example of his right-leaning bias following the “straw-into-gold” mishap.

Finally, the small town of Hamelin has closed their borders yet again due to another outbreak of rats.

The Pied Piper declined to comment on the recent scourge.

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