When you tell a God that no, he cannot have a treat from the candy aisle


Maybe he woke up on the wrong side
of the Falkland Islands,
but Poseidon begins his day in a bad mood.
He was going to swallow a ship to calm his anger,
but they don’t sail in quite the abundance
that they used to.

Instead, to soothe his nasty attitude,
the Sea God reaches for
his most adored toys,
two boyhood treasures that
could always cool his hot head.

To his dismay, he cannot find them
on his nightstand;
Except for a tiny, leftover piece,
the deity’s favorite playthings
have all but disappeared.

Neptune is not known
to care for earthy things, like humans,
but the polar ice caps
are his most priced possession
(He used to smash them against the earth
and watch as glaciers formed
through the cracks he created),
and he now finds them all but melted like
a witch exposed to water.

At this, the Greek Divinity loses all reason.
He begins to see black,
becoming more furious than he had
when Odysseus rode his back,
and the seas churn with his wrath.
Someone stole his ice-caps
and he throws the God-of-all temper-tantrums
to get them back.

The turbulent Neptune tries to
launch himself from Earth
and maybe reach his lunar lover
for some comfort.
He falls far short of his goal of the moon,
and ends up floating in the clouds,
angry and ready to rain down destruction.

Poseidon is mad as a magma flow;
his arms pinwheel out
and he knocks over
cities with a flick of his wrist.
He cuts buildings in half
to search through the new
haphazard dollhouses and find
his precious arctic ice-packs.

He does not care about the damage he caused,
He does not care that he drowned out our power.
He does not care about the lives we lost;
the only thing on the Deity’s mind
is finding his childhood toys,
and he will not stop until they are safely stored
back on the poles of the Earth.


POSTSCRIPT: My thoughts go out to all those who are suffering loss and destruction and to those who are braving the elements in the wake of Hurricane Sandy. I hope that you all recover power soon and are finding help staying warm, well-fed and comfortable. I was lucky to be in a part of the city that wasn’t hit too hard, so if anyone needs anything (clothes, food, etc), please don’t hesitate to ask.

To those who wish to help, you can donate to the Red Cross, feed people, send a care package, thank a first responder or donate blood.

To those still in the storm’s path, I hope the worst is over. Stay safe and spend time with loved ones, if you can. If not, send me your number and I’ll leave you a thoughtful (albeit silly) voicemail.

3 thoughts on “When you tell a God that no, he cannot have a treat from the candy aisle

    1. Thanks Mrs. Potter. Indeed, my school is safe, and luckily we get to educate again tomorrow. Not being able to teach has me a little stir-crazy (please excuse any comments that may send me to the asylum). How are things across the pond?

      1. Things are fairly calm across the pond, just now. We often get a less extreme version of US weather about two weeks later. There’s a southwesterly blowing (about force 4) and it’s damp, grey, and not too cold in the SE of the UK.

        Although I live on the coast, my house is high up, giving me a brilliant view of the sea over the roof tops. My insurance policy says there is only a 1% chance of flooding (they have to put that, don’t they?) the policy doesn’t mention what percentage chance there is of the roof blowing off, though.

        Glad you’re ok and you’re school is safe. I hope all the youngsters you teach are ok as well.

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