Zombie Insomnia

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I date zombies
Not the “eat your face off with their one good tooth” types,
but the pre-decayed lifeless,
with enough humanity to hold the door for me
even if their arm is left dangling on the handle.

I usually play hard to get.
I let the undead prospects
chase me for a while to
prove they are interested.
I won’t even let them kiss me until
at least the seventh date
or else they may chew on my tongue
during our make out session.

Don’t judge me;
I’m not a necrophiliac.
My half-dead relationships
have more life in them
than Facebook statuses.

Some say the love bug bit me.
Some say the love bug is really
just the zombie virus.
Maybe I’m Bruce Willis and
see dead people as attractive.

But it’s too hot to say no to a cold body tonight,
and even if she were a janitor in her past life,
she’s my decomposing secret,
and her freezing skin is what I need
to fall asleep.

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