Instructables

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Instructables

Turn left at the gargoyle.
Press B and A at the same time while
swinging your thumb widdershins.
Wait until the plant goes
back into the plumbing pipes
before you sprint
over the fire pit.

If you want to cheat,
do this secret combination
when you are conceived,
at the beginning of the start screen.
It should be easy,
your thumbs develop first,
then your trigger fingers,
then your internal organs,

Don’t screen peek.
Don’t blink.
Don’t get up to go to the bathroom
or you may miss it.

Be prepared to lose sleep over
your quests or the End Boss.
You can dream when you’re dead.
You can get Vitamin D
from a fluorescent screen.
You’ll get your squirt of dopamine
when you beat this level.

Step outside and there’s no red arrow
pointing to a pedestrian with an
exclamation mark hanging over his head
like an excited halo hyped up on red bull.

There won’t always be a golden path
or a yellow brick road
or a trail of breadcrumbs left on the sidewalk
to lead you by the hand
like you are leashed to a future.

It was your ancestors
who carved the trench to follow,
maybe on Atari with nothing but a joystick
and floppy disk to mix 0s and 1s,
and if you want your children to end up any differently,
you have to dig our own way through the world
maybe deep enough that you hit magma;

or else the princess will always be in another castle.

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