Last minute preparations through the looking glass


Pep Talk

Alright listen up, you Wonderland tea-suckers,
we’ve got an Alice marching down the path
about to crash our party in a few minutes.
What’s an Alice?
They call her Goldilocks
because she locks on to a target
and doesn’t stop until she sells it on the black market.
We are all targets.

The grinning cat told us she’s on d5
and just took the heart off a knight.
It might have been a flamingo riding a horse
or a playing card in white armor;
suffice it to say it went the way of oysters
down a walrus’ gullet.

She should be on our square momentarily.
She’s already eaten the Jabberwocky and
I’ve heard her appetite isn’t satisfied
with mere “drink me” bottles
or shrinking cake or even a late rabbit,
tasty from baking with pocket-watch precision.
I need you to bring your “A” game
complete with your best unbirthday gimmicks.

Papa Bear, hit her with a riddle the second she walks into the tea house.
Say something ridiculous, you’re good at that.

Mama Bear, you can prepare the tea.
Make a pot of chamomile or something to calm her down.
Her vorpal sword is sharp and we don’t want her
swinging the heads off Tweedledum and -dee because
she drank too much caffeine;
We have a queen to do that.

Baby Bear, I’m going to need you to run interference,
Sing a nursery rhyme or something.
Act drunk off of finger sandwiches.
Read some tea leaves.
Be cute.

Ok team, this better be just right or else it’s porridge or us.

Ready? Break.


3 thoughts on “Last minute preparations through the looking glass

  1. I always thought of Alice as feisty, but this one is dynamite. Brilliant stuff.
    And as you’re into alternative versions of Alice, you might like to add Jeff Noon’s cyberpunk book “Automated Alice” to your reading list, if you haven’t read it already.

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